One year ago…

One year ago I was an hour from home at a construction job site when a call came in I was not prepared to receive. When I say I was not prepared to receive it I guess that’s only partially true. For months previous, I had been speaking to my friends and family that I believed another baby was coming from my children’s mother… Whether I wanted to admit it or not I had been making preparations to try to prepare myself and my home to be able to except another child should it happen. My friends continuously said stop speaking it or you’ll speak it into truth. So I focused on letting it go. I put away the baby bottles and toys as our little Hannah turned one.

So when the call came in that day I wasn’t prepared because I had told myself it wasn’t going to happen and put everything away and in my mind try to close that door and not focus on it anymore. I am scared with every call I get about a foster child, but I have to say that this one left me shaking and more scared than the previous. Without hesitation and for the first time without calling anyone for advice, I did what my heart felt was right and went with my gut and said yes. Quite honestly I probably didn’t ask because I knew I would get some of the most pushback on this yes and this leap of faith.

At the time, I had two children at home that had just turned one and two, respectively, but neither even walked… So I was saying yes to taking responsibility for three young babies that all required a significant amount of care. Just a month, before we had added an au pair to our household who was still learning the ropes for taking care of my current children and just settling into America and learning our language. I had a roommate that lived with me still. And I had a boyfriend that I only had been dating for a few months. And friends I felt I’d already taxed too much with helping me to just to take care of my two babies. Anyone of those people could’ve walked away based on my decision to say yes… Especially without consulting them first. Thankfully while I know everyone had their concerns they supported me and stepped up.

Not to mention I had no idea how I was going to take care of the child while working full-time. Au pairs are only able to watch children over the age of three months old and this little baby was only three days old. So this yes was going to dramatically change my life and was a huge leap of faith once again.

As I left the jobsite headed to the hospital to pick him up just a few moments after getting the call, I texted my group of girlfriends and let them know I needed help but wasn’t even really sure at the moment what I needed….I just knew I couldn’t do this alone. I called my family and my boyfriend and let them know where I was headed… And definitely cut them all off guard. I called our pediatrician and set up a newborn well check… I was like a pro at this point so I knew this was one of the first steps. While I’m pretty sure I was still in shock from all of what was going on I just kept walking through each step telling myself you can do this, God has brought you here for a reason.

God never gives you more than you can handle.

When I made it to the hospital, I found out that the baby boy had almost been put in another foster home before the caseworker thankfully made the connection to my children, despite the mother’s false identification information again. I couldn’t be more grateful that again God had stepped in and made sure that my children remain connected and found each other.

When I returned home, members of my church community group were already there waiting with diapers, food and clothing. They had swooped in to help make sure I would be able to juggle the first night with three babies by helping me find my newborn boy clothes again and getting myself organized.

The next day we went to the doctors office where they weren’t surprised at all that here I came with baby number three. I talked with friends and family trying to make a plan for how I was going to take care of the baby well I work full-time… Surprise newborn babies aren’t the easiest to juggle as a single foster mom, but I was determined to figure it out just like I had before with his siblings. Our little family has always been blessed with amazing friends and family who have stepped up to help us and this time was no exception. The baby had come home on a Tuesday and the following Monday I had a friend from San Francisco flying in planning to spend the next few months living with us in my basement to be his nanny. My big house that I had bought as a single woman with no kids didn’t seem so small anymore with four adult women and three babies living in it. It was a crazy and chaotic household but it was filled with lots of love and always someone to love on my babies when I couldn’t be there.

Foster care isn’t a well planned and organized journey, which I how I honestly like my life to be. It’s chaotic and full of surprises and challenges… it’s multiple leaps of faith along the way. I never guessed it would turn out this way. I have never been fully prepared for what was to come next. But I have always survived and made it work. And the experience has been more rewarding and strengthening than I ever dreamed.

If you are wondering if you could be a foster parent… that you feel a calling to do it… or really anything that you feel your heart is called to do, know this! If God calls you to it, he will walk you through it. You do NOT have to be fully prepared or experienced or “ready”. You can figure it out along the way… a leap of faith can change your life. But you’ll never know how if you don’t jump!!

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